does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
