During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My dick has a subreddit
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
