Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize