I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The air was thick with penises
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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