Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When are your genitals available?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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