I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
