Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
