Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
