I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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