I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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