just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
