my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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