so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
