So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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