I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
