That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
