____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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