I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
