I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
