When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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