dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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