I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
