Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
