at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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