i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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