There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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