Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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