Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
