Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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