Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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