More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I will pee on everything he values.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
