My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
