we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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