Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
