put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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