she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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