You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
