She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
