Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
