my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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