If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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