Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
