I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
