why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
