i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hippo gnu deer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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