Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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