Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
