What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
