Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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