I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
