Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
