Well apparently he's into motor boating.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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